I Quit My Job

Today marks a year since my last day of school in North Dakota.  Last school year was rough on me.  I was completely and utterly unhappy for a variety of reasons: I had moved 500 miles from home for my then boyfriend.  I was teaching things I wasn't good at teaching.  It wasn't a good fit for me.  I had parents and students who absolutely hated me.  It was my first year teaching ever.  I was close to quitting after Christmas break when I started SOBBING into my mom's shoulder at home because I didn't want to drive back because I was so unhappy.

Truthfully, I had depression and anxiety.  It was never diagnosed, but I know I did.  I had characteristic symptoms.  I couldn't even get up in the morning for school, which is completely unlike me.  I was almost becoming a person I didn't even recognize and that was scary.

I had moved with the intention of giving it two years and then moving back.  I didn't want to live there; I knew it and my now ex boyfriend knew it.  But I loved him, and I moved anyway.  (Lesson learned, always always ALWAYS trust your gut.  Always.)  By about January I knew I couldn't make it another year.  I was already counting down until summer break...in January...as a teacher.  Nope.  It wasn't going to work.  Then my principals came to me saying "we need you to change these 17 things about your teaching..." and my decision was easy.  I didn't renew my contract.  I wanted to be home, so I moved home without another job lined up.  It was a gigantic leap of faith, but it ended up working out as things always seem to.

I am eternally grateful to my dad for renting a truck and coming 500 miles to help me move out.  I literally have no idea what I would have done otherwise.  He was so awesome at helping me pack up my life (again) and move home (again).  Not every parent would let their daughter who was in her mid 20's move home with nothing else lined up.  (Thanks guys!)  When I was unemployed and living with my parents at age 25 I realized that I was infinitely happier than I had been with a full time job and my own place.  That in itself told me I had made the right decision.

Things always work out for a reason.  In July I accepted the job I'm in now.  It pays considerably less money, but I'm considerably happier.  I'm teaching what I want to teach.  I'm happy doing what I'm doing.  And I plan on continuing in the same job next year.

That whole experience got me thinking: if you are in a job you hate and that literally drains your energy, is it worth it?  Is it worth being miserable just to get a paycheck or just to have a job in your field?  It's been about a year since I moved back home from North Dakota.  It's hard to believe time flies so fast.  I learned an important lesson: trust your gut.  It's right 99% of the time.