I Have Crohn's Disease

Crohn's Disease has changed my life in lots of ways.  Crohn's is a form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or IBS.  It isn't something I talk about at all really.  Only a handful of people who I know in real life know that I suffer from it.  It most definitely is an embarrassing illness to have to deal with, and it doesn't exactly come up in day to day conversation.  You can probably guess what some of the symptoms are.  If you can't, look them up.  I will spare you details in this post.  I have issues digesting certain things due to lesions on my bowel.  Thus, there are times when I have stomach issues and just can't digest things properly.

I was diagnosed with Crohn's at age 17 in January 2006.  I had been suffering for quite some time up until that point.  I originally started having issues May of 2005.  I didn't tell my parents and tried to suffer in silence because I thought maybe it was a kind of flu or something and it would go away.  Well, when I started visiting the bathroom much more frequently and in the middle of meals and when I was in there for an extended period of time, they noticed.  I was losing weight, and not in a healthy way.  I couldn't keep any food down and that which I did eat went right through me.

I went to my regular doctor who had me do a bunch of tests: blood work, samples, allergy checks, everything he could think of that was causing my gut to react poorly.  Everything came back negative.  He then referred me to a Gastrointestinal (GI) specialist in the office.  I visited him a few times.  I had more blood work done and more tests, including an upper GI test where I had to drink two 16 ounce cups of barium.  Yeah.  Not fun.  He exhausted all his nonintrusive options and he said the next step was a colonoscopy.  My 17-year-old self said no freaking way.  I was NOT about to have a camera shoved up my butt.  My parents tried to convince me, but I had made up my mind.

Logically, my brain knew I had to do the colonoscopy, but my body didn't want to go through that.  I was a senior in high school...I didn't want to go through what I thought was an old person's procedure.  But I didn't get better.  I kept on having to ask my teachers to go to the bathroom every hour, and I kept on having to stay in there for 10-15 minutes.  I FINALLY reached my breaking point.  One day in January I told my mom that I was ready and she could schedule a colonoscopy.

I had to fast the day before so I spent my lunch working on homework in the library.  I ate my chicken broth and lime Jello and pretended it was real food.  The night before I had to take a gross laxative to clear out my system.  Ickkkkk.  The next day, I had my procedure.  They put me under and I don't remember a thing about it.  I remember being embarrassed about showing my bare naked butt to the doctor, but at that point I just wanted to eat real food again so I got over it real fast.  I woke up and it was done and I had answers.  He showed me the lesions on my intestine and explained that they were clear signs of Crohn's.  Instead of being scared I was relieved.  I finally had answers.  I could finally get better.  I was 40 pounds lighter because of being sick -- I had needed to lose weight, but it I had lost it for the wrong reasons.  (Side note, I've since gained all that weight back, ugh.)  I was tired of not being able to eat without worrying about it affecting my digestive system.

I had the day off from school so I spent the day recovering and working on my make up homework.  I was put on the drug Pentasa which helped me to digest things again.  After a few days on my meds, I felt closer to normal than I had in months.  I had answers.  I only had a mild case.  I felt like I could finally live again.

Crohn's still affects me daily and it definitely doesn't simplify my life.  There are still times when I have to excuse myself to make a quick pit stop.  There are days when I feel like crap (pun very much intended) but I can't take the day off from work.  I work through it most of the time.  I automatically look for the bathrooms whenever I'm in a new place.  I still avoid some foods, but I'm able to eat others.  There are days when I feel gross and days where I feel pretty dang normal.  I stopped taking Pentasa for a few years because it was almost making me worse, but I had to go back on it recently due to increased flare-ups.  Again, I'm finding it helps.  I feel as close to normal as I think I can feel.

My closest friends, family, and my boyfriend know about it and that's about it.  I don't particularly like talking about it for obvious reasons, but sometimes I wish I was more comfortable.  I think this post is a start.  I have Crohn's Disease and I'm not ashamed.