As I type this I am sitting on my deck on a beautiful Minnesota summer evening sipping a glass of wine and I have been reading Harry Potter for the past hour and a half. Seriously it doesn't get much better than this.
This summer has been really great for me so far. I've had a lot of great accomplishments at work and I'm happy with the work/life balance that I have this summer. The past 5 years I worked at a summer camp where my schedule was handed to me and I was around kids 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that job, but it's also nice having an adult summer for the first time. I control what I do and when I do it. I choose who I spend time with. I have time to do the things I want to accomplish. It's such a nice change of pace from the camp lifestyle. I miss camp a ton, but at the same time, this was definitely the right choice for me this summer.
Tonight I met a friend for happy hour who I hadn't seen in forever. We sat on a patio and drank martinis and caught up on life. I got home and I came straight out to my deck with my book. As I sit here I hear kids playing on a swing set nearby, I've seen many happy dogs and people walking or running by, and the air temperature is pretty close to perfect. I'm on the 3rd floor so mosquitoes (the Minnesota state bird so it seems) aren't bothering me. This is what it's about. Enjoying every breath, every sight, every sound.
My main hobbies this summer have been reading and running. I'm taking up running slowly but surely and I am now able to run more than 20 minutes straight without stopping! For me that is a pretty significant feat. I'm running the Color Run on Sunday and my hope is this will be the start of a healthy lifestyle. I want to become a runner. I want to tackle those 5k's, and maybe 10k's. When I'm on my runs I get in a zone. I tune everything out and I just focus on one foot right in front of the other. I focus on my breathing and matching the cadence of my steps with the beat of the music. I won't lie, running is difficult for me. I often sweat through my shirt completely and I'm huffing and puffing much of the way. But I'm doing it. I'm conquering something that I didn't think I could do. It's a process, but the simplicity of it all makes me so happy. One foot in front of the other.
The feeling when I get home after a run like that is impossible to describe. Many times I'm exhausted, but I feel so accomplished. The best part is when I realize I ran faster and farther than before. At that point I realize I want to run even farther and I want to do even more.
Here's to joyous, simple summers.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
A Letter to My 16-year-old Self
Inspired by this blog: http://aredheadsguide.com/
Dear Laura,
I'm so excited for you to see where life will lead in the next decade. It's crazy, in a good way. You have learned so much and grown so much in the past ten years. I know you think you know a lot now, but just wait. The older you get the more you realize you DON'T know.
In the next decade, you will fall in love multiple times. You will have your heart broken multiple times. You will find a teaching job or two. You will have successes. You will have failures. You will realize that your parents are actually pretty cool (I know, I know...). You will realize that real life isn't as awesome as it's cracked up to be. You will still be best friends with your close high school friends, even though you grow up and grow apart a bit. You will still be a band nerd.
Love yourself. A lot. Tell yourself you're beautiful. You won't believe it at first, but you are. You have a beautiful personality. Your future students LOVE that about you. Never lose your kindhearted personality. Be positive. Be upbeat. Be inclusive. Be inviting. Be welcoming.
When you get to college, it is fun and a nice change from high school. Don't feel like you have to stay in your dorm all the time -- you can meet so many more great, interesting people! You meet some friends, but they'll never be *quite* as close as your high school friends. You will befriend your freshman RA and end up working as an RA for 3 years which doesn't seem like a great thing at the time, but it will save you SO MUCH MONEY. Even when it gets hard, you stick through it and when you get a student loan bill every month you appreciate that money you saved! And the girl who was your RA your first year? She will get you through a lot later in life. Appreciate her and all that she is.
You will fall in love for the first time at age 21. He will be your first kiss, and it will be a really freaking great first kiss story -- he kisses you when you are standing on the border of two countries. Seriously, isn't that the coolest?? The first year with him will be really great. You'll even think he's "The One". He will tell you he loves you and that he wants to spend his life with you. You spend 3.5 years with him, though the rest of the relationship won't be as magical as the first year. All I can say is listen to your gut the first time. Your bestie (same bestie that you have now) never really likes him. You should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.
You will move for that first love and it will blow up in your face. He will distance himself from you and you will feel lost and abandoned. He won't respect you as you deserve. You end up going through the break up from hell, but those around you will show you they care about you. You will miss your friends and family 500 miles away, but they will be there when you need them most. It will take a long while to get over him but eventually you will realize that you are better off without him and that he doesn't deserve you.
Mom will be diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2011. You cry, a lot. You think the world will end. But she takes control of it like a champ and even when she has bad days she is overall pretty healthy. Don't take your mom for granted. She's a pretty cool gal. She hurts a lot more than she lets on, but you're able to be there for her when she needs you. She will miss you a lot the year you move to North Dakota, but she'll be overjoyed when you move back. In a lot of ways she is your rock, and she is your family's rock.
Your dad still has a kooky way of helping you out with anything and everything, but remember he always means well. Always. He will even drive a moving truck across the countryside to save your butt and help you move home after you quit your first teaching job. In many ways he will still drive you crazy. He will have problems coming to terms with the fact that you are a responsible, mature adult who doesn't need her dad quite as much anymore. Again, he always means well. You will realize just how much alike the two of you are. It will scare you a bit, but you learn to embrace it. You will realize that he's not invincible and that scares you a bit too. Appreciate him. He's such a great guy.
You will go on a million first dates that go nowhere and eventually you fall in love with a guy who treats you REALLY well. He will open doors and take your coat and make you dinner and pay for dates and carry your stuff up to your apartment for you. He will be there for you when you absolutely need him most and he will prove that he is worth keeping around. You will realize that this is how dating should be: easy. You are kind of unsure about him at first, but you realize that he is really freaking amazing and in time you fall for him. It is a healthy relationship and he makes you ridiculously happy. You don't want to rush it and you take it at a healthy pace.
That brings us to today. You will look back at who you were and even though you're still the same person, you'll marvel in how much you've changed over such a short period of time. It's amazing how far you've come and how far you have yet to go. Sit back, enjoy the ride. Don't take one day for granted.
Dear Laura,
I'm so excited for you to see where life will lead in the next decade. It's crazy, in a good way. You have learned so much and grown so much in the past ten years. I know you think you know a lot now, but just wait. The older you get the more you realize you DON'T know.
In the next decade, you will fall in love multiple times. You will have your heart broken multiple times. You will find a teaching job or two. You will have successes. You will have failures. You will realize that your parents are actually pretty cool (I know, I know...). You will realize that real life isn't as awesome as it's cracked up to be. You will still be best friends with your close high school friends, even though you grow up and grow apart a bit. You will still be a band nerd.
Love yourself. A lot. Tell yourself you're beautiful. You won't believe it at first, but you are. You have a beautiful personality. Your future students LOVE that about you. Never lose your kindhearted personality. Be positive. Be upbeat. Be inclusive. Be inviting. Be welcoming.
When you get to college, it is fun and a nice change from high school. Don't feel like you have to stay in your dorm all the time -- you can meet so many more great, interesting people! You meet some friends, but they'll never be *quite* as close as your high school friends. You will befriend your freshman RA and end up working as an RA for 3 years which doesn't seem like a great thing at the time, but it will save you SO MUCH MONEY. Even when it gets hard, you stick through it and when you get a student loan bill every month you appreciate that money you saved! And the girl who was your RA your first year? She will get you through a lot later in life. Appreciate her and all that she is.
You will fall in love for the first time at age 21. He will be your first kiss, and it will be a really freaking great first kiss story -- he kisses you when you are standing on the border of two countries. Seriously, isn't that the coolest?? The first year with him will be really great. You'll even think he's "The One". He will tell you he loves you and that he wants to spend his life with you. You spend 3.5 years with him, though the rest of the relationship won't be as magical as the first year. All I can say is listen to your gut the first time. Your bestie (same bestie that you have now) never really likes him. You should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.
You will move for that first love and it will blow up in your face. He will distance himself from you and you will feel lost and abandoned. He won't respect you as you deserve. You end up going through the break up from hell, but those around you will show you they care about you. You will miss your friends and family 500 miles away, but they will be there when you need them most. It will take a long while to get over him but eventually you will realize that you are better off without him and that he doesn't deserve you.
Mom will be diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2011. You cry, a lot. You think the world will end. But she takes control of it like a champ and even when she has bad days she is overall pretty healthy. Don't take your mom for granted. She's a pretty cool gal. She hurts a lot more than she lets on, but you're able to be there for her when she needs you. She will miss you a lot the year you move to North Dakota, but she'll be overjoyed when you move back. In a lot of ways she is your rock, and she is your family's rock.
Your dad still has a kooky way of helping you out with anything and everything, but remember he always means well. Always. He will even drive a moving truck across the countryside to save your butt and help you move home after you quit your first teaching job. In many ways he will still drive you crazy. He will have problems coming to terms with the fact that you are a responsible, mature adult who doesn't need her dad quite as much anymore. Again, he always means well. You will realize just how much alike the two of you are. It will scare you a bit, but you learn to embrace it. You will realize that he's not invincible and that scares you a bit too. Appreciate him. He's such a great guy.
You will go on a million first dates that go nowhere and eventually you fall in love with a guy who treats you REALLY well. He will open doors and take your coat and make you dinner and pay for dates and carry your stuff up to your apartment for you. He will be there for you when you absolutely need him most and he will prove that he is worth keeping around. You will realize that this is how dating should be: easy. You are kind of unsure about him at first, but you realize that he is really freaking amazing and in time you fall for him. It is a healthy relationship and he makes you ridiculously happy. You don't want to rush it and you take it at a healthy pace.
That brings us to today. You will look back at who you were and even though you're still the same person, you'll marvel in how much you've changed over such a short period of time. It's amazing how far you've come and how far you have yet to go. Sit back, enjoy the ride. Don't take one day for granted.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
The Hardest Goodbye
I took a bit of a break on this blog for the start of summer. A lot has happened since then: I started working full time for my boss, I've had many drinks on patios, I've visited friends who I hadn't seen in a while, and I said a really freaking hard goodbye.
My family's dog, Sequoia, hadn't been doing well from about March until we said our final goodbye to her on June 11th. She had really bad arthritis in her back legs, and it was getting to the point where she just couldn't move. She couldn't control her bowels. She couldn't follow us around the yard. She would walk 25 feet and lay down. It was so hard seeing her like that. We knew that it was the beginning of the end and I was trying to prepare myself, but when the time came it was still so hard.
We adopted Sequoia in May 2002 after a year hiatus with no dog. Being the animal lover that I am I had pestered my dad to get another dog daily for that entire year. Every morning it was: "Dad, can we get a dog?" He always said he wasn't ready yet. One day, he dropped me off for my band concert and I realized that he had snuck in after the concert had started. It was VERY unlike him and I was super curious where he had gone. That night, he said the magic words: "I think I found our next dog." I jumped up and gave him a huge hug. He had snuck down to the Humane Society to see her for himself, but he didn't want to get my hopes up before he did. I don't think he even told my mom. Nice one Dad.
The very next day was a Friday and I counted down the hours until we could go meet her. I was beyond excited. After supper, we piled in our tiny 4-door sedan to drive down to see her. They said she hadn't been spayed yet so we wouldn't be able to take her home that day. We pulled up and walked into the dog kennels. All the dogs were barking as we walked through. All but Sequoia that is. she was laying down and looked up at us calmly with these gorgeous chocolate brown eyes as if to say "take me home". I will never forget that first look. I fell in love. We walked her outside and we all knew that she was the one for us. She had this huge smile on her face as we walked around with her as if she knew her family had come to get her and take her home.
Dad walked up to the front desk to tell them that we would adopt her. The clerk looked through the files and realized that she indeed WAS spayed. "Would you like to take her home tonight?" the lady asked.
My response: "YES!!!"
Dad's response: "We don't have the right car to take her home." (She was 80 pounds of adorable mutt.)
Secretary: "Oh that's ok, we'll give you a sheet!"
So my parents finished the paperwork as I pet our beautiful new dog. We all piled in the car again, this time with me and my dad in the back seat with Sequoia sitting on a sheet between us, happy as a clam. She laid down immediately and had this huge doggie grin on her face. I hugged her and pet her and we definitely bonded on that ride home. Dad had to stop at Target to get dog food and supplies because we didn't think we would have a dog with us when we came home! I sat in the car with Sequoia and she looked out the window happily.
She got out into our yard and just started running around excitedly. She knew she was home. We had 12 amazing years with her. I always felt like her Girl. She loved being home. She loved chasing rabbits and trotting after us when we worked in the gardens. She loved sitting on the back step, especially if one of us sat with her and she could get lots of love. She loved her morning walks with my dad. She loved when he laid down and snuggled with her in the grass. She loved her family. Whenever I packed up the van to move to college, she would find a Sequoia-sized spot and she would hop in and lay down because she wanted to go with. She was loyal to a fault.
I cried so hard the day we had to put her down. I'm crying just writing this post. I was able to spend a good chunk of the day with her before my dad had to take her to the vet. It was such a hard goodbye. I sat down and cried into her fur and she just put her head in my lap as if to tell me it was ok. She always knew what I needed.
She's no longer in pain, but I miss her like crazy. I have faith that she is on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge waiting for me and that I will see her again. She will always have part of my heart. Pets are so much more than a dog or a cat or a hamster or a fish or whatever. They become part of the family. That is why it is the hardest goodbye.
My family's dog, Sequoia, hadn't been doing well from about March until we said our final goodbye to her on June 11th. She had really bad arthritis in her back legs, and it was getting to the point where she just couldn't move. She couldn't control her bowels. She couldn't follow us around the yard. She would walk 25 feet and lay down. It was so hard seeing her like that. We knew that it was the beginning of the end and I was trying to prepare myself, but when the time came it was still so hard.
We adopted Sequoia in May 2002 after a year hiatus with no dog. Being the animal lover that I am I had pestered my dad to get another dog daily for that entire year. Every morning it was: "Dad, can we get a dog?" He always said he wasn't ready yet. One day, he dropped me off for my band concert and I realized that he had snuck in after the concert had started. It was VERY unlike him and I was super curious where he had gone. That night, he said the magic words: "I think I found our next dog." I jumped up and gave him a huge hug. He had snuck down to the Humane Society to see her for himself, but he didn't want to get my hopes up before he did. I don't think he even told my mom. Nice one Dad.
The very next day was a Friday and I counted down the hours until we could go meet her. I was beyond excited. After supper, we piled in our tiny 4-door sedan to drive down to see her. They said she hadn't been spayed yet so we wouldn't be able to take her home that day. We pulled up and walked into the dog kennels. All the dogs were barking as we walked through. All but Sequoia that is. she was laying down and looked up at us calmly with these gorgeous chocolate brown eyes as if to say "take me home". I will never forget that first look. I fell in love. We walked her outside and we all knew that she was the one for us. She had this huge smile on her face as we walked around with her as if she knew her family had come to get her and take her home.
Dad walked up to the front desk to tell them that we would adopt her. The clerk looked through the files and realized that she indeed WAS spayed. "Would you like to take her home tonight?" the lady asked.
My response: "YES!!!"
Dad's response: "We don't have the right car to take her home." (She was 80 pounds of adorable mutt.)
Secretary: "Oh that's ok, we'll give you a sheet!"
So my parents finished the paperwork as I pet our beautiful new dog. We all piled in the car again, this time with me and my dad in the back seat with Sequoia sitting on a sheet between us, happy as a clam. She laid down immediately and had this huge doggie grin on her face. I hugged her and pet her and we definitely bonded on that ride home. Dad had to stop at Target to get dog food and supplies because we didn't think we would have a dog with us when we came home! I sat in the car with Sequoia and she looked out the window happily.
She got out into our yard and just started running around excitedly. She knew she was home. We had 12 amazing years with her. I always felt like her Girl. She loved being home. She loved chasing rabbits and trotting after us when we worked in the gardens. She loved sitting on the back step, especially if one of us sat with her and she could get lots of love. She loved her morning walks with my dad. She loved when he laid down and snuggled with her in the grass. She loved her family. Whenever I packed up the van to move to college, she would find a Sequoia-sized spot and she would hop in and lay down because she wanted to go with. She was loyal to a fault.
I cried so hard the day we had to put her down. I'm crying just writing this post. I was able to spend a good chunk of the day with her before my dad had to take her to the vet. It was such a hard goodbye. I sat down and cried into her fur and she just put her head in my lap as if to tell me it was ok. She always knew what I needed.
She's no longer in pain, but I miss her like crazy. I have faith that she is on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge waiting for me and that I will see her again. She will always have part of my heart. Pets are so much more than a dog or a cat or a hamster or a fish or whatever. They become part of the family. That is why it is the hardest goodbye.
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